Why I Sleep with Herks…

I did something the nuns who taught me would definitely NOT approve of me doing.

OK, to be honest, there’s quite a few things the nuns would not approve of, however, I am referring to one thing in particular at the moment.

When I was young, I wanted to be a nun. I think the part that interested me was that dressed in a habit, I could look like a bride every day! (Clearly, the concepts of chastity and poverty hadn’t entered my mind yet.) I was also intrigued by paranormal and psychic things – things the nuns didn’t particularly embrace – actually frowned upon quite a lot. Read more »

Categories: adventure, Family, Funny, Humor, mother, parenting, single parent, travelling, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , | 13 Comments

Men, Their Meat, and Pleasing Women

I found this prowling around the internet and HAD to share. I’m not sure who to credit for it, but it’s hysterical and TRUE! HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY!!!

We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it’s the only type of cooking a ‘real’ man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved.

When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine…

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill – beer in hand.

Here comes the important part:

bbq Men, Their Meat, and Pleasing Women(4) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine….

(5) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(6) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation.

Important again:

(7) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine….

(8)The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(9) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(10) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(11) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off.” And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing some women….

Categories: Family, Funny, Humor, journal | 25 Comments

Psst? Got a Sec?

Please say a quick prayer that Saint Padre Pio look after a very, very dear friend of mine today who desperately needs his help and guidance dealing with an abusive domestic issue.  She needs a miracle. She needs him to please give her a sign that she is doing the right thing.

(Actually, it wouldn’t hurt to ask Pope John Paul II and Mother Teresa – and anyone else up there who isn’t too busy - for help either).

padre pio Psst? Got a Sec?

Saint Padre Pio…please help my dear friend today.

Categories: accomplishments, journal, parenting, stay at home mom | Leave a comment

I Just Had to Share This – HAPPY HUMP DAY!!!!!!!

I found this as I was looking for something entirely different online…I’m not sure who to thank for it – but it sure made me laugh outloud and I wanted to share!

 

“A Doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa . ‘The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago.. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. However, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have eaten, or will eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?’

After several seconds of quiet, a 75-year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said, ‘Wedding Cake.’”

Categories: Uncategorized | 1 Comment

Butt-Dancing, Pole-Dancing, Disco Dancing – It’s All Good

Zbyszek turned into a lovely, snow-covered tree.

That’s what my friends told me that New Year’s Eve night many, many moons ago in Poland. He had been madly in love with my friend Grazyna – who, it turned out, was madly in love with someone else. And apparently, she told him so that night.

In his despair – and after a few many shots of Zytnia wodka – he ran out of the house, sans coat, and into the woods behind the house we were celebrating in.

“O Matko!” wailed Grazyna as she noticed the front door left wide open, blowing snow was beginning to collect like powdered sugar in the hallway, and a gasp followed by whispers, rippled through the room. Read more »

Categories: Children, Family, Funny, Humor, journal, Moving to Myrtle Beach, Poland, Uncategorized | 11 Comments

My Happy Ending in Herkimer, NY (wink, wink)

For approximately the last six months, I have tried to live and breathe just about every moment of my spare time studying and working with gemstones – that’s pretty much the reason for the sad crickets on this, my beloved blog. My hands-down favorite art medium to work with is words, and I have been silent MUCH too long.

During this time, however, I have collected delicious morsels of my quirky life and the time has finally arrived for me to again indulge myself in this sweet heaven of sharing my written art with you.

herk 1 My Happy Ending in Herkimer, NY (wink, wink)

With my right hand basically useless, I quickly regretted not training myself to be ambidextrous like my Dad was…

I was blessed with the wonderful opportunity to visit my favorite Bed and Breakfast – The BellingerRose –  in Herkimer for several days last week, and I will certainly be sharing with you my beautiful experiences there in coming posts. However, I just want to tell you that during my stay, I had a treadmill ”incident” (feel free to envision the most ridiculous accident you’ve seen on America’s Funniest Videos or on Ridiculousness) and the palm of my right hand developed a TREMENDOUS throbbing blister and I was rather sore all over, so I was forced to mine all day in the hot sun with only my left hand (yeah, I’m tough…although, it still did hurt worse giving birth to my youngest on the bathroom floor with no  pain-killers and only my four daughters under the age of ten to help me…).

Read more »

Categories: Uncategorized | 11 Comments

“Mommy, You’re 60 Pounds and 8 Minutes!”

Sometimes too much information, to the wrong person, at the wrong time – can be a bit, well, comical – depending on how much ibuprofen you have on hand.

My youngest will be turning 4 soon. Of course in her mind she’s 14, and on an intellectual level with my oldest. So when Daughter #2, the 12 year old, asked how gemstones were measured (apparently she was momentarily bored with her new iPod), the little one’s interest was piqued and she scooted off the burgundy velvet sofa and sat down crossed-leg on her new pink bean bag chair next to us. Read more »

Categories: Children, Family, Funny, Humor, Kids, mom, mommy, mother, parenting | 11 Comments

Pssst!! Check This Out….

The girls are all still sleeping and I am putting the final touches on my first post of 2013 as well launching my newest site Victoria’s Tajemnica.

vt 2 225x300 Pssst!! Check This Out....

We are SLOWLY getting ourselves back into the swing of the move, and to keep ourselves (ok, ME!) focused, I decided to challenge myself to taking a picture everyday – and to give me a theme, I am using angel cards. These are cards with inspirational words on them, which you draw from a pile and then read the corresponding “message” in the accompanying book.

I must say…it’s freaky, spooky accurate. At least for me!

I invite you to please stop by and and check it out icon smile Pssst!! Check This Out.... .

Categories: journal | 3 Comments

5 Girls, 2 Gerbils, a New Puppy and Lots of Junk Food – Yep, We’re Ready For Frankenstorm

And I was slightly hesitant to move down south because of THEIR storms!

The girls and I are hunkering down, waiting for “Frankenstorm” to shake things up a bit around here. Mostly they we are eyeballing all the junk food and arts and crafts supplies I bought to make things a little fun, since there most likely won’t be any trick-or-treating here in upstate New York this Halloween.

Read more »

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Diamonds, Champagne and the Most Awesome Hot Tub Experience I Have Ever Had…

I love to bang.

On dolomite.

The rhythmic pounding on rock with rock hammers and chisels, in hopes of having water-clear, double terminated Herkimer Diamonds come spilling out onto the grey dust gives me just an incredible rush.  Actually, they more like come flying out – looking perfectly faceted. Seeing the glittery rainbow sparkle peek out from the mazes of stone crevices makes every blow worthwhile. After a few hours, dust covers one from head to foot, and muscles scream for mercy, but clear zip-lock bags filled with gemstones keep us going until the very second the mine closes for the day. Read more »

Categories: Family, jewelry, journal, travelling, Uncategorized | Tags: , , , , , , , , | 8 Comments