All I Want for Mother’s Day is to be Naked in Peace.

Posted by on May 11, 2012

I am NOT very pleased with the person who taught my youngest to jimmy locked doors.

I am particularly perturbed at that person when I’m in the shower and I never hear the door open – just the whoosh of my pink-on-pink shower curtain before the icy breeze grabs at my exposed body parts (for some reason, I can never remember to turn on the heating lamps).

“Whatcha doin’, Mommy? Can you make me some more chocolate milk?” My three year old’s big blue eyes blink as if she thinks I really am doing nothing.

“I will do it as soon as I get out of the shower, OK Fluffy-Butt?”

She shuffles out, and, as always, leaves the door ajar. I tip-toe out and slam it shut and scurry back under the massaging water…aaahhhhh…(crap…forgot to turn the heating lamp on AGAIN…)

Whoosh – another freezing blast as the curtains flies open, “Never mind, Mommy,” she bounces up and down on her toes with excitement, so that her blond ringlets bop like a poodle with long hair, “I’ll just do it myself.”

OK, pretty much nothing makes me jump out of the shower and into a towel faster than those words. All visions of washing my tension away disappear instantly, replaced by visions of my family-size bottle of Hershey’s chocolate dripping off my table and a gallon of milk like an ocean on my floor. Complete with ten footprints tracking it through my house, because I know no one except for me will bother to clean it up! (All in a day’s work. That’s why we moms get paid the “big bucks”, right?)

So, for this Mother’s Day, I still want my pampering, my gifts, my champagne and my trip to the Saratoga Racino. But most of all, I would LOVE a nice, long, hot shower.



Today, I present to you my second nomination for The Versatile Blogger Award:

 What Gathering Mushrooms, Wisniowka and Blog Awards Have in Common

Rules for the Versatile Blogger

  1. Thank the person and/or blog for the nomination!… 
  2.  Share 7 Facts about yourself
  3.  Nominate 15 Blogs/Bloggers that I follow

Seven Facts About Me:

  1. I was named after my maternal grandmother who was named after Queen Victoria. My five daughters are all named after princesses/queens, as well.
  2. I can do backbends, flips and push-ups, but no matter how hard I try, I CANNOT do a single sit-up…UGH…
  3. I like chocolate sprinkles on my grapefruit halves. 
  4. I enjoy practical jokes immensely.
  5. I am an only child and that is the saddest thing in my life.
  6. In my “spare time” I am studying for my certificate in gemology.
  7. I believe firmly in guardian angels.

I am going to honor one blogger a day so no one gets lost in my list of 15…please MAKE SURE to check back daily and see if YOU, or maybe someone you know or follow, has been nominated!


My Versatile Blogger Award Nominee #2

EricaJGreen’s Blog – Navigating Wonderland – I just HAVE to follow this blog. Iceland!!!! And Animals!!

Nominee #1

italy with grace – Grace lives in Italy, and is an EXTREMELY gifted writer. Even her comments are magnificent!!


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24 Responses to All I Want for Mother’s Day is to be Naked in Peace.

  1. Tess Kann

    It’s been a LONG time since I’ve had this problem, but I know how it feels. Hope you have a NICE Mother’s Day etc. etc. in peace . . .

  2. Rebecca Lane Beittel

    I just wish my shower silhouette looked like that!

  3. Barb

    Amen, sister. It’s hard to relax when you know their breathing on the other side of the door, just waiting…..

  4. Kat

    Haha…I hear ya!! This post is great and I am sure mothers everywhere can relate. I would love the opportunity to actually shave both my legs and maybe even use the conditioner in my hair, now we are talking! Happy Mother’s Day

  5. boomie bol

    You and me both:). Have a wonderful mother’s day and I hope you get all you want

  6. Angela

    I SOOO hear you on this one – my ‘mother’s day gift’ was spending 30 seconds in a buffet line-up without a baby or toddler on my hip or the four year old pulling at my sleeve.
    That does it – I’m leaving hubby with the 3 under four and hitting the shower – ALONE!
    Happy Mother’s Day to Me!

  7. Robert

    Not sure how I stumbled upon you, (Not that you were lost) but loved what I read. I hope your trip goes well where ever it is you go, though I hope you make it to SC as we need Beautiful women of strong character such as yourself.
    I am in the Upstate of SC and think you would do great with your certification in Gemology, better here then at the Beach.
    I wish you a great Mothers day, but most of all I wish you the presence of understanding the unconditional love you’re children and those around you have and will always have for you, tho it maybe seldom spoken of.
    Have a great day and Rest up!
    P.S. I f you make it to SC you won’t need to remember the Heating Lamp! “Gods Speed”

  8. Taryn

    I’m so with you, you dont want to know what I would do for a long, hot, peaceful shower! The worst part is that, rather than rush through my showers like a madwoman while pleading with the crying child on the other side of the curtain to hold on a minute cause mama really needs to shave her armpits, I often just go without. Luckily Charlotte doesnt mind if I smell a little bit 🙂

  9. Denise Malloy

    I remember those days so well. Not one moment of privacy!

  10. Laura B

    Love the post! I can totally relate. Hope you got your mother’s day wish (and thanks for visiting my blog recently). 🙂

  11. Euphoriaz

    Gosh, i know the feeling very well! 🙂
    But finally i´ve got my kids to understand that a closed door = privacy.

  12. Tracy

    I agree completely! Oh how I would love a long shower. A bath would be even better. 🙂

  13. angie

    HaHa! I’m with ya. I always tell I’m gonna actually shave my legs in the shower..that is until I hear the screaming and what sounds like a herd of cattle coming home! Sigh….one day!

  14. ally

    Lol! Long baths. What are those? 😀
    And thanks for stopping by my blog!

  15. Tom Nardone

    Hey lady,

    I am Tom Nardone, I think you met me yesterday.

    I would say that it is remarkable that a three year old is able to open a locked door. Were you joking or did someone really teach her this skill?

    My favorite day of the week is Tomorrow. So I hope you can take solace in that tomorrow is another day, and another shower. so wedge the door with a shoe turn on the heat lamps and enjoy your nakedness to the fullest extent you possibly can.

    I am Tom Nardone and you are welcome

  16. Jessica

    I can totally relate to this unfortunately!!! The things you give up doing in peace once you have kids include peeing, eating, showering and so much more! Gotta love the little monsters!!

  17. Alison

    Sorry to have to say this, but you make me feel so much better about not having children!


    you are so funny and a good writer. ITs been a while but i was right there with you. enjoy the adventure ! i will enjoy reading about it.!

  19. MODUPE

    Thank you so much for making my day! Making me laugh, I can ust imagine how you feel! You deserve a great mother’s day! Thanks for following my blog too! I love what I see here….Happy Mother’s day!

  20. Teri

    Vicky, thank you for reading/liking my blog. New, long overdue endeavor. My daughter once handed me the phone while I was in the tub. When I told her (yelled at her?) that I didn’t want the phone in the tub, she said, “But it’s Pastor Budd.” I hear you. Nothing gets our adrenaline going like somebody breaking in on our bathing rituals! (In bad ways, AND good ways, if you know what I mean!) Have a fab Mother’s Day!

  21. Laura Hedgecock

    When my kids were 3 and 5 I just wanted to be able to pee alone. I applaud your goals and hope whoever locks you in the bathroom turns on that heat lamp for you too.

    Thanks for visiting memoriesinthewind. I appreciate the support.

    Laura Hedgecock

  22. Francine Gassette


    Welcome! Thank you for subscribing to follow my blog. I hope you are encouraged, inspired and enjoy the photos I take of life’s events as seen through the lens of my camera.

  23. Kate

    Why settle for a shower? I would aim for a long, warm bubble bath…

  24. Mary Ann

    Hi Vicky – Enjoyed your blog. Was wondering if you got your Mother’s Day wish? I’m with Kate about a long, warm bubble bath, but then again, you’d probably be too busy! Thanks for liking my post on “My Anniversary” and becoming a follower. Here’s to future adventures!

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