“I Feel Extremely Guilty…”

Posted by on January 18, 2012

There are bits of dirt showing through the snow that fell a couple days ago, and shiny ponds of ice reflect the yucky gray sky. This is the part about winter I dislike so much. It’s a high-wind warning day making the drafts in this rambling house feel like bored ghosts just meandering about, too spiritless to even attempt at spooking anyone. There’s a definite air of cabin-fever setting in. I found something romantic about days like this, once upon a time –¬†in a Dr. Zhivago kind of way. And then the babies came, and cuddling together by the fire with hot toddies was VERY quickly replaced with trying to dress five little “octopuses” in roughly 75 pieces of clothing. All for the pleasure of six minutes of play. Just long enough for them all to realize, that after the first snowball hitting your face – it’s not quite as much fun as it looked like from inside. Plus, that’s about the time they remember they have to tinkle.

Shopping. Ahhhhh….the quintessentially ancient art of healing gratification where an individual exchanges currency for a glimmer of newness, possibilities – thus improving one’s spirits which in turn stimulates healing. Perhaps THAT will nudge me out of this blahness, which seems much worse when the girls are sleeping and the house is silent. Devoid of laughter. Like right now. Randi suggests I start looking for clothes, “bathing suits and sundresses and big hats,” she tells me, “to protect against cancer. And wrinkles.” So, while the girls are still sleeping, Bob and I will do a little shopping…most likely just window shopping (I feel extremely guilty spending money on myself with five kids!!) but I’m sure it’ll do me some good!

As usual, Randi was right. Nothing perks me up quite like shopping, although…sorry Randi…I didn’t actually MAKE a purchase. I adhered strictly to a tip my Mom taught me years ago…to ask myself ten times if I REALLY wanted/needed something before I spend money on it. I reasoned that if I buy a bunch of stuff now…I will just need to pack it up and unpack it again when we move. WAY too much work. I’ll just shop when I get to Myrtle Beach. One of things I loved about living out on the Cape was the laidback life. Girls don’t stress over make-up and hair, a nice healthy glow and hair in a ponytail, flip-flops and old cut-offs and a t-shirt. Didn’t matter if you have money or not…everyone looks the same. Up here, even on the hottest days, girls are in full make-up, designer clothes and sky-high heels. How I am truly looking¬†forward to being comfortable again! (And happy at the prospect of not having to spend ridiculous amounts of money anymore for clothes for my five girls!)

Looking at the calendar, it occurs to me that I need to plan a moving sale. I truly have no intentions of bringing all the winter gear we have accumulated over the years in hopes of forcing ourselves to like the snow and ice and freezing cold temperatures. My best bet for this moving sale, I suspect, will be on the very first weekend of March. Unless we decide to move sooner…

Thankfully the sun has come out and the girls have managed to completely make my day one filled with wonder and gobs of FUN! I wish the same for all of you!

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